i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
