One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
