There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
