Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
