just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
