and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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