Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
