I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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