She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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