So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
