I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina just clenched in fear
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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