I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
