Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're a waste of cheezeits
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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