There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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