Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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