man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
