I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
