I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
