dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
