oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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