Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
