i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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