I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
