i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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