But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
