sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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