i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
