You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
