thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
