at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
