im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
