Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Randomize
