So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
