HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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