hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
