We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
