Don't you send me to vm
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
