I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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