Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, beer. Big fan.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
