The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
