worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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