He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
