I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
