you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
