so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My ass is underappreciated
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
