plz talk dirty to me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
