What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
