singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
