Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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