I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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